Sushi Boat
island girl: “your mustache tastes like fish.”
me: “that’s kind of gross…sorry.”
island girl: “it’s like you gave cunnilingus to a mermaid.”
ostentatious jackass
island gurl: wanna see jackass 3D tonight bro?after dinner?
me: ummmmm
island gurl: …………….
me: sure
island gurl: fine asshole im sorry its not all refined and sophisitcated FRENCH FILM so here’s some FRENCH FOR YOU FUCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK YOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU
PENIS
LETS JUST STAY HOME AND WATCH SOME GODDARD FILMS AND SIP ESPRESSO AND EAT SARDINES AND BAGUETTES
Fat girls are tighter.
— Context: Island gurl sharing some of her philosophical musings on life.
me: i think my sisters want to celebrate our birthdays tomorrow
because t*&% is leaving
island gurl: omg they don’t have to celebrate my birthday
me: they were going to bake you a mango cheesecake though.
island gurl: i was going to stick an italian sausage next to 2 meatballs on a bed of pasta and put a candle on top for you then asshole guido
island gurl: GARLIC MUNCHER BASIL PICKER EAT PASTA YOU PRICK
— context: birthdays are the best time of the year
Your beard covers up your ugly face. You should grow it so it covers the entire area.
— Context: My beard is a metaphorical paper bag?
Am I your beard? Beard=cover to society that you are not gay?
— Context: Beards and Sexuality, interrelated?
Island Gurl: “Why do you have brown fever as your status?”
me: I dunno know
Island Gurl: what are you implying? i am not obtuse.
OBVI
— Context: Someone logged into my gmail and changed my status
Happy Native American celebration day!
— Context: Native Americans need their own month too.
Merry Xmas! Hope you celebrate the fake birth of Jesus by shoving a crucifix in your heart!
— Context: Seasons Greetings!
Are you dropping the big brown bomb on porcelain city? Guys probably think you are wanking it h-core in there. You should moan and breathe extra hard.
— Context: Trying to lighten the load ;)
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